You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
