Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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