I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
