Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
