I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
