He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
