careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
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Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
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I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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