awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize