I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
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Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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