Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
