like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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