From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
we're making bets on your personal life
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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