I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
