No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
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Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
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