I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
