I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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