Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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