Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
