i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
