I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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