didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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