you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
