no, he came in my armpit
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
