Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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