Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
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The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
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if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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