im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
