? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
