Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
be right there i have to get my cape
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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