So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
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