We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
