Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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