I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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