Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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