people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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