I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
