I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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