best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
