what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
