I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
