Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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