Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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