So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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