with your own penis?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
