I'm going to rape someone's good day.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
honey bunches of taint.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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