I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize