My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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