Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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