glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
