well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Who put my cat in the fridge?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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