At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
