You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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