do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
