Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
