let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
