Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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