Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Randomize
