i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize