look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
