drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
