Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
